October 16, 2010
The Fairy Tale
11:06 PM | 
Posted by
E Living
Yes; she did fall madly in love and she did get married. But it wasn't perfect like she had thought it would be. Marriage was full of real life, and it was tough.
A one year deployment to Iraq, 3 baby boys, and 11 moves (three being cross-country) later, you can still find that girl married to her Prince Charming. They have lived through many mistakes, and celebrated just as many triumphs...but the biggest triumph was coming to grips with the fact that marriage is not a Fairy Tale.
This girl
was
&
is
ME
Marriage is fulfilling in so many ways, and the ways in which it is better are far beyond the comprehension of that young girl so long ago. How could you explain the beautiful chaos of marriage to that starry-eyed little girl?
I have grown so much since getting married; and I don't think that would have happened had I not gotten married. Second to becoming a Christian - it has been the single most important thing in my life. I will never be the same, nor do I want to be.
But, how do I show the next generation of starry-eyes that marriage is incredible while helping them to prepare for a real life "forever and ever" covenant that won't fall apart at the first sight of dragons?
It starts with me and the image of marriage I live. It took me a long time to realize I was sabotaging what could have been my greatest source of fullfilment becasue I was still projecting my fairy tale expectations into my marriage.
Is it always fun? No.
Is it always easy? No.
Would I choose the same thing again? Hands-down YES.
But, how do I show the next generation of starry-eyes that marriage is incredible while helping them to prepare for a real life "forever and ever" covenant that won't fall apart at the first sight of dragons?
It starts with me and the image of marriage I live. It took me a long time to realize I was sabotaging what could have been my greatest source of fullfilment becasue I was still projecting my fairy tale expectations into my marriage.
Are you like me?
What do watching eyes see in the way you live married life? I hope it's worth the discussion. I would like to share a few things that really helped me make my covenant more of an Image Bearing marriage.
One: Accept the one you married as a sinner - like you - he is not perfect and cannot be held to unrealistic expectations. God is the one who does the refining...not you. Remember that God shows His power when we think we are at our weakest moments.
1 Peter 3:1-2 "Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives."
Two: You first need to deal with your own personal spiritual life before you look at your spouse's. If you have problems in your life that you thought marriage would solve, take another look in your own heart first. How clearly do you see the picture? Did you get married to feel loved forever, or to glorify God through the love?
Matthew 7:3-5 "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye."
Three: You cannot blame your spouse on the circumstances of life. This, I think, is the toughest one to swallow. Meditate on this ultimate eternal truth for a day: God is Sovereign.
*Do you have financial burdens?
*Trouble with the kids?
*Having issues with ______________ (fill in the blank)?
Those problems were allowed to happen. Yes; it would be nice to "feel" better about your situation and you can try to do that by blaming someone (your spouse)...but it won't do you any good. Actually it will hinder your marriage. I know; because it's happened to me.
Four: Dig into the word of God and see what it has to say about being a wife for His glory. What's the point of this beautiful chaos in the first place? Take the focus off of what you thought something was supposed to be like, and put it on what the main purpose is.
To see more, find me at
P.S. There are also tons of great books out there that touch on this subject. (A few are: The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace, and Loving God With All Your Mind by Elizabeth George are two that I have read, plan on re-reading and think they are very good reminders of all of the above.)
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